So I am not quite a week into my new discipline of living healthily and turning to prayer – rather than food – when I am dealing with feelings. But already I feel a very profound change.
As I’ve said, I use food to crush or ignore whatever I’m feeling, primarly, I’m sure, to avoid feeling the bad stuff. So it was fascinating to me that on the first night of my new disciplined life I experienced headaches and several night disturbances – both signs that whatever fears or other demons that exist are only just below the surface, ready to be counted and dealt with. And at this point I’m okay with that and am ready to deal with them and move on.
But the rest of the week has been incredible in that I’ve started to really notice the joy and contentment in my life, feelings that I was missing when I was eating and not praying. I’ve had a persisent sense of well-being for the last several days, so that, even though I haven’t had time to really deal with whatever it is that scares me into numbness, I recognize that I am moving in the right direction, and that, already, is so worth it.
So today I give thanks to God for all that He has blessed me with, because there is much there. And because doing so makes it even easier to pass on the candy dish.
Thanks be to God. Amen.